This is Africa calling...
I could tell you that it’s hard work escorting a tour around Africa, and that staying in the lap of luxury is not all it’s cracked up to be… but I’d be lying.
Greetings, at long last, Legion of Fans (LOF) from the stark but beautiful Karoo, in South Africa.
I’m on The Pride of Africa, Rovos Rail’s luxurious olden-days train, somewhere between Pretoria and Cape Town.
We are Day 10, or something like that, into the inaugural “Silent Predator Safari” in which yours truly and the indefatigable Mr H from the Africa Safari Co are leading eight hardy readers on a grueling 13-day tour of the best South Africa has to offer.
I know some of you wanted to join us, but were unable to do so because of financial and other issues. All I can say to you is: sell a child, a car or some superfluous organs because if we’re doing this again next year (and I certainly hope we are) then you would be mad not to join us.
We kicked off with five nights in the Kruger National Park – three nights in the national parks rest camps at Skukuza and Satara, followed by two nights in Tinga Private Game Lodge.
Attentive members of the legion will recognise all these places from my books, and the idea is that on the tour we visit places where my fictitious characters are shot, stabbed, lost, kidnapped, or (ahem) intimate etc.
We had some truly sensational game viewing in Kruger. By the second day the group had seen all of Africa’s Big 5 – lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo and rhino. In fact, on the second day we saw all five in one drive, and then four out of five on the afternoon leg… but who’s counting.
Tinga (which features in SILENT PREDATOR) had a lot to live up to in the animal stakes, but head guide Mr Q did not disappoint us.
On a guided walk along the banks of the Sabie River we saw something that neither he nor I had ever seen – a big crocodile killing another croc. Right before our eyes. Sabie means fear in English and the river lived up to its name as this was one scary sight.
From Kruger we jet-setted back to Johannesburg and thence on to Pretoria where we picked up our five-star choo choo. I love The Pride of Africa. The gentle rocking of the carriages… the lovingly restored coachwork… the all-inclusive bar… I could go on, but I fear the lunch gong is about to sound and I really must squeeze in a bloody Mary first.
Greetings, at long last, Legion of Fans (LOF) from the stark but beautiful Karoo, in South Africa.
I’m on The Pride of Africa, Rovos Rail’s luxurious olden-days train, somewhere between Pretoria and Cape Town.
We are Day 10, or something like that, into the inaugural “Silent Predator Safari” in which yours truly and the indefatigable Mr H from the Africa Safari Co are leading eight hardy readers on a grueling 13-day tour of the best South Africa has to offer.
I know some of you wanted to join us, but were unable to do so because of financial and other issues. All I can say to you is: sell a child, a car or some superfluous organs because if we’re doing this again next year (and I certainly hope we are) then you would be mad not to join us.
We kicked off with five nights in the Kruger National Park – three nights in the national parks rest camps at Skukuza and Satara, followed by two nights in Tinga Private Game Lodge.
Attentive members of the legion will recognise all these places from my books, and the idea is that on the tour we visit places where my fictitious characters are shot, stabbed, lost, kidnapped, or (ahem) intimate etc.
We had some truly sensational game viewing in Kruger. By the second day the group had seen all of Africa’s Big 5 – lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo and rhino. In fact, on the second day we saw all five in one drive, and then four out of five on the afternoon leg… but who’s counting.
Tinga (which features in SILENT PREDATOR) had a lot to live up to in the animal stakes, but head guide Mr Q did not disappoint us.
On a guided walk along the banks of the Sabie River we saw something that neither he nor I had ever seen – a big crocodile killing another croc. Right before our eyes. Sabie means fear in English and the river lived up to its name as this was one scary sight.
From Kruger we jet-setted back to Johannesburg and thence on to Pretoria where we picked up our five-star choo choo. I love The Pride of Africa. The gentle rocking of the carriages… the lovingly restored coachwork… the all-inclusive bar… I could go on, but I fear the lunch gong is about to sound and I really must squeeze in a bloody Mary first.
Comments
I hope you got lots of photos that you will treat us to over the coming months.
Look forward to more details of your safari exploits when you are more "rested".
It is, however, wonderful to know that you are all having such a fantabulous trip - enjoy it all to the fullest !!!! (I am a jealous cow aren't I ?)
Keep holding up those bars mate..we're thinkibg of you.... going down to the dam now to see if I can get my plastic crocs to start a donny brook with each other..
Looking forward to the 'pikka cha chas'. hope you got some good ones of the crocs
<^..^>
Wonderful, amazing...what's a teenager bring on the open market, anyway? Mine come complete with rolling eyes, exaggerated sighs, and a vocab that's restricted to, 'Like, whatever!'
Going once, going twice...
I'm currently planning our next trip to Africa and currently trying to decide on either Botswana or Namibia - any suggestions?
Now ...now... ladies don't be jealous like Tony says put the kids on the market or might I suggest the husbands or .....yourselves.( Am I going to be shot for suggesting this? )
Karen trust me when I tell you ,you cannot see the beauty of Africa in your minds eye,this you have to see with you own eyes no imagination can do justice to what is here.
And on to cleaner subjects(I think)....Ali G, what is a donny brook? Can't think of any strine for that one. For some reason I thought you were over there with TP?
KPB: teenagers unfortunately do not bring much on the market these days until they've passed the phase where they are smarter than the rest of us!!
Dunno about selling kids. Sold one of mine once but they brought it back after a week and wanted a refund. Said it wouldn't work and I said that's why I sold it in the first place.
We're going over for 2 weeks at Xmas arriving J'burg 14 Dec then driving to Kruger the next day meeting T & N there.
Looking forward to it!
Thanks Trin I had no idea what St Kilda is.
Husband, hmmm, Les? He might consent to hiring out as manual labor to aid my cause, but anything else...not a chance. The man hasn't been nekkid since the spring of '99. He's punishing me and the world at large for a completely innocent comment made in jest...sheesh! You guys are soooo sensitive! And you hold a grudge, too...
Guess it's up to me. I may have to be shipped Fed-Ex, though...just can't imagine I'd bring enough cash to fly coach. At my age, experience might help a little, but total darkness is the only real cure.
For a Silent Predator tour, though, I just might give it a shot. Speaking of SP and TP, I'll be posting a review of that most excellent novel on my blog in the next few days. Perhaps I can point a few more American readers in his direction. (I'll be at it just as soon as I get back from the auction block...a girl has priorities, you know!)
Have fun, Tony and gang! Thinking of you while brainstorming on how to raise our own funds for a tour!
And btw, I'm definitely a fan, now! Fantastic writing! Zambezi is next!
I am making a DVD called 'How to win books on writers blogsites' so if you would like a copy just send me A$2 [plus A$23 p&h] and you too can join the winners circle.
Within my DVD there will also be hints for ladies on how to save money for TP luxury safaris without having to visit St Kilda, sell children or houses.....
<^--^>
However, after a recent fiasco with Australian Customs (who knew a humble raw potato would be considered contraband?), I'm not sure they'll allow any packages to be shipped from Oz to my address in Maine... How long would it take to download that same tutorial on dial-up? :o)
Perhaps you might give us ladies a hint into those money-saving tips, so we could be assured the DVD was worth two bucks...after all, it took me three hours to earn that much over in St. Kilda (Trin was earning almost three times as much...I need to talk with that girl!)and I'm not inclined to part with it without a taste of what's to come!
(Congratulations, btw. Keep it up and your next building project will have to be a library addition...)
It's a franchise arrangement Karen...
You buy [at a negotiated price]a copyright agreement from me for my DVD and you can then print and sell your own copies.
I'll let you into my secret...
It's not so much the price of the DVD that you make the bucks on its the postage & handling side of it where you clean up.
I've worked it out that by franchising my copyright Lady Chatterley and I should easily be able to afford TP's Luxury safari by next years one where as you girls with say 5 years hard work with feet firmly planted on the ground [instead of up in the air] could also be relaxing on the train from Cape Town by say 2014.
I usually find that it's the bunny potato posting type who falls for this scurrilous scam....err I meam excellent franchise offer that you make the most money from with the DVD sales.
<^..^>
What can I say? I bow to the master.
Is it a 'pyramid' scheme? Because I just left one of those back in St. Kilda, and it was a bit much, even for this reformed Baptist.
:o)
I tried your "legs in the air" theory (by vegetating on the sofa with feet pointing skywards) but alas no money came my way, although we've just had a lot of thunder & lightning.....
Congratulations on your book win - how do you do it (I know, I've got to buy your DVD....)
I've been usurped by Dozy! Apparently, my naked rain dance has been rendered impotent... no wonder I haven't had any luck breaking your drought for you! My rubber-boot-encased feet had stayed firmly on the ground!
I guess you'd better give your obeisances and your offerings to Ms. Dozycow, instead of me. She even gets THUNDER and LIGHTNING!! All I can manage these days is a tepid drizzle for my efforts.
Feet in the air... who knew?
Must become a writer ..girls with legs in the air and running around dancing with just rubber boots..
did actualy go to writers school once ..was 10 easy lessons or 5 hard ones..took the 5 hard ones but got expelled in lesson 3 for pinching Ruth Lindsays skipping rope and trying to look up her dress..
KBP: The thunder & lightning were awesome & the rain was very welcome, didn't last long though & now it's all (quite literally) turned to dust. Everything is surrounded by an eery orange glow.......maybe I should try something different ??
And now, an 'orange glow'...Hmm. I'll have to think on this a bit.
Dozy, while feet were in the air, did you have your rubber boots on? And if so, what color were they? Green, I've found, is the most reliable, but purple--when they work--bring the most measurable rainfall.
I'm thinking you forgot your boots, and confused the issue. Either that, or you had one yellow and one red boot on...and everyone knows yellow and red make orange! You just may have set the precipatory world on its ear.
I'll consult the authoritative manual, 'Downpour Dancing for Dummies' and get back to you. In the meantime, dig out those green gumboots, won't you?
An orange glow... I wanna see!!! :o)
On the plus side (my own orange glow)I just recorded a slice of setting moon with the hooting of a Great Horned owl and the cries of a pack of hunting coyotes as background music. Heaven!
Wonder what Tony and crew are experiencing at the awesome hands of Mother Nature? She sure knows how to keep ME humble.
(BTW, here in Maine, it's pronounced KIGH-oats...)
The golden glow is the result of a massive dust storm fueled by wild winds Karen - everything's coated in layers of red dust, including the sun.And no, I wasn't wearing boots (although I do have a pair of thigh high suede stillettos in the wardrobe) my feet were "au-naturale" at the time - don't worry though as the rest of me was well covered.
Thigh high stilettos...no wonder you get thunder and lightning!
Rubber boots...no wonder I get drizzle...
I've just seen pics of your red dust--truly awesome. What an amazing place, Down Under.
Heidihi, Namibia is probably a bit better than Botswana for self drive as the parks a bit cheaper, and a bit easier to book. In Bots you will need a 4x4 to get into the Moremi game reserve in the Okavango Delta, but you could quite easily do everything you want in Namibia with a two-wheel drive rental.
Etosha's bungalows get booked well in advance.
Email me if you want some more info.
More tales from the tour soon...
Sorry about the fetish Tony. I've been trying to keep these girls under control while you've been busy on safari but dear me... they're just a bunch of harlots.
At Tony's suggestion, (and Les' encouragement) we've been brainstorming for ideas to raise money for our safari.
And at Ali g's imploring, I've been trying to end his NSW drought. What works here in the northern hemi just doesn't have the same effects Down Under.
Trial and error, that's all this is.
And, Ali g (you who feel so BRAVE now that you know I'm banned from entering Oz with my potatoes), I'm sure you meant 'harlot' as in 'itinerant jester', from the Olde English, yes?
Thought so. We ladies were sure that's what you were intending to convey with that comment.
You may step out from behind Lady Chatterley, now. T'was a simple misunderstanding, and you're forgiven.
Dozy, funny how the duststorm missed Victoria - started in SA then bypassed us - I was sure we would cop it as we normally get SA weather - must investigate what wind patterns prevailed. And isn't it eerie when that happens - we had a huge one after Ash Wednesday (I think it was) - bit scary at the time.
Waiting very patiently for pics of crocs having a donnybrook - plastic or otherwise.
Meanwhile I have been looking, but can't find, a word for the male equivalent of harlot. The only term I that have heard of is "wombat" but that is usually uttered as an expression of admiration.....
If'n my grandma were alive today she say
'young ali, don't solicit for those girls that's not nice''
unless you get a good percentage of their price'
You're right about wombats Dozy I call Claude 'the white wombat'
Karen..am wearing the nice moose T-shirt you sent me so you can call me Larry or even Bullwinkle if you like.
There are any number of male equivalents to "harlot", so it's not hard to come up with one. Finding the right one is the difficult part.
You know how, sometimes you use a word but it doesn't "feel" right? That's because words, either written or spoken - just like everything else in our world - have their own unique resonance; understanding that resonance (energy, vibration) is the key. A word with that doesn't feel right can totally destroy the entire tone of a sentence or even a paragraph.
If you look at all the synonyms for harlot, you'll find that each as a different energy to it: The same occurs when you look at all the male equivalents. It then becomes a simple matter of pairing those that "feel" the same.
For my mind, the male word that comes closest to harlot is libertine.
Okay, class dismissed. For homework I want you to .... :)
Live long and prosper.
Real men like cats...and wear silly Maine t-shirts.
Re: Homework - to be a "Libertine" (or "Rake") evokes a Victoria tone of admiration amongst males of particularly loose morals (but women of this genre are referred to as harlots)
This same admiration is extended to today's "wombats".
Basically, us harlots think they're all (except for Claude) just a bunch of r**t-rats.
Check your e-mails. Mike Williams is re-locating.
Hope the elephants are all accounted for...
Elli