Saturday, June 27, 2009

On tour - but I ain't afraid of no pig

Honest, Legion of Fans (LOF), it's not the risk of swine flu that is keeping me away from Victoria.

Newsletter edition two went out yesterday (if you aren't receiving my newsletter, please drop me a line at tonyparknews (at) gmail (dot) com and I'll put you on the list) and already I'm getting some forthright feedback about the lack of any speaking engagements in the fine state of Victoria on the forthcoming Shameless-self-promotion-of-my-pirate-book-IVORY tour.

Yes, Mexicans (which is what people in my state call people in the adjoining state to the south), as things stand at the moment it does not look like I will be venturing south of the border down Melbourne way... In case you didn't get the newsletter I will, however, be appearing at:

New South Wales

St Ives Library - July 31, 11am
Camden Library - August 12, 6.30pm
Belrose Library - August 25, 4pm
Lane Cove Library - August 26, 6pm
Ingleburn Library - August 27, 7pm
Viv's Travel Bug, Bowral, August 28, 5.45pm. Phone 4861 3433 to book.
Gordon Library - August 30, 2.30pm
Hornsby Library - September 3, 6.30pm

Save Foundation Black Tie Ball - September 5, 7pm at the Hunters Hill Sailing Club to raise money for the African Rhino. Two course dinner and South African beer and wine for $90 per head. Bookings essential, contact

Toowoomba City Library - September 7, 6pm

South Australia
Marion Cultural Centre evening, Adelaide - August 3, 7.30pm. Bookings essential, phone 8375 6855.

West Australia
Dymocks Bookseller Event - August 5, 7pm at Tompkins on Swan Function Centre, Alfred Cove. Welcome, non-alcoholic drink and finger food for $15 per head. Contact Dymocks Garden City on 9364 7387.
Mount Claremont Library - August 6, 7pm, Mount Claremont Community Centre next to the library.

Painted Dog Conservation Inc Fundraiser - August 7, 7pm-9pm in the Gershwin Room, Hyatt Hotel, Perth to raise money for the endangered African Painted Dog. Drinks and canapes included at $50 per head. Bookings essential, contact


Here's the deal - if there is anyone other than Crookpaw and Trin from Victoria who would like me to come down to Australia's hippest, trendiest and coldest capital city (except, I supposed, for Hobart), then I will present your collective case to my publishers.

Normally, I will go to the opening of a door, so I don't need any convincing to go to Melbourne.

In other news... just finishing off the edits to my second non fiction book, which is due at the publishers this week. Hope they like it.

And, in truly important news, Adelle was voted off this week (predictable, but sad nonetheless), leaving only willowy Clare, the petulant and painful Cassi, and the thoroughly delightful Tahnee. I know who my money is on. Speak out, fans of Australia's Next Top Model (ANTM)... I know you're out there and I share your anguish at every elimination.

My reality television weakness is, quite clearly, ANTM. (Yes, I'm a guy, and that sounds a bit gay, but what's not to like - attractive young ladies behaving badly in lingerie?) What's your most embarrassing TV fixation, LOF?


Anonymous said...

You've got a punctuation problem. Hobart is most certainly colder than Melbourne, but hipper and trendier?

Not even worth putting to the polls.

Personally, I think you should go to Melbourne. For your own sake, if not the city's.

But I'd draw the line at Hobart.

Anonymous said...

The intrigue, back stabbing, and secret alliances of Survivor pushes my buttons.

But only if it is filmed at a tropical location where the wearing of bikinis is mandatory

Crookedpaw said...

Crookpaw? Never a good editor around when you need one, is there?

But, please, please come to Melbourne (I sound like that Harry Chapin song). As an added incentive, drinks on me. Not too many though, after all moderation is a good thing, right?

Oh, by the way, if you know someone who can track down the bastard that burgled our house on Thursday, bring them, too.

Jas said...

Woah! Toowoomba ... Lucky you!

Trev said...

Cripes you'd probably get whacked by the Morans or Pancho Villa if you go there. Also carl Williams old man has just got out of the nick so really ...Mexico is a good place to stay away from my gringo amigo..

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson had Melbourne on his list to visit & look what happenned to him.

Heidihi said...

Why Toowoomba? What about us Brisbanites?

Another Anonymous (AA) said...

There are no Morans left and as long as you keep out of certain suburbs (as in all cities) you wouldn't come across the hard core criminal element.... Sadly, MJ's downfall was not an imminent visit to Melbourne.... All the best events are in Melbourne - Grand Prix, Melbourne Cup, Phillip Island Grand Prix, Commonwealth Games, Australian Open....the list goes on. And why are Victorians called Mexicans (first I heard of it) - it's not like we are in any rush to go north of the border - unless it is two borders up, in which case NSW doesn't get a shoe in.

Mom said...

Don't Forget The Lyrics - Lock in those lyrics, Wayne.

Current favourite, Mad Men (not quite my era, but not far off).

Trin said...

Echoing CROOKpaw, please please come to Melbourne. The weather is fantastic (particularly tonight),the people are great and the vibe in Melbourne is sensational. Maybe TP wont need too many drinks - and maybe he should shout you CP seeing you have been burgled - nasty nasty people, I hope they didn't cause too much damage to your personal stuff and I hope they get caught.