Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Radio Ga Ga

Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, Legion of Fans (LOF)! Or, should I say, "aye aye".

I feel sorry for writers who know nothing about Army life (something I've had some experience with) and have to include military scenes in their books.

I know nothing at all about the navy or life at sea (well, I know a little bit more, I think, than I did before I started researching and writing my new pirate book, IVORY) and am now a bit brain dead after my umpteenth read through of the proofs of IVORY, trying to make sure I've included all the correct jargon and nauticalisms that go with a life on the ocean waves.

I've been helped in my research by no fewer than three master mariners, a retired South African Navy Captain and, as of today, an Australian Navy Captain and... wait for it, an ADMIRAL.

I really can't thank all these people enough for giving me their time. One of the great things about writing is that I've never had someone tell me to go jump or "walk the plank" (more appropriate in these circles) whenever I've asked for help with a book. I find people are incredibly generous with their time, and very patient with my many stupid questions and ridiculous scenarios.

I must add that sometimes a writer has to walk a narrow plank (sorry, had to use it again) between striving for technical accuracy and stretching the bounds of credibility. I've tried to do both in Ivory - ie be accurate and stretch credibility.

So I'll issue a blanket thank-you, now, to all the salts who have helped me with this book (as it sails dangerously close to the printing presses, into harm's way etc etc etc) and a blanket apology for all the dodgy bits that have to remain (in order for the book to be made into an even more improbable Hollywood blockbuster).

Anyway... back to the title of this post. What does that mean? I'm so brain dead I can't remember.

Oh, wait... that's it. I meant to say, at the start of this post, I'm too busy writing non-fiction book number two to even blog.

Instead, with the help of my techno-savvy and smart-mouthed PR mate, Jimbob, I will very soon by uploading my first ever home-grown PODCAST.

Stay tuned, as it were, for some ramblings (aided by the several beers Jimbob and I consumed to lubricate our golden tonsils while recording our first podcast) of the verbal kind in the very near future.


What about you, LOF? Ever been put into a positon where you've had to write or talk about a subject you know nothing about and sweated over it? I have. Every bloody day of my life.

15 comments :

Trin said...

When I was about 19 or 20 and extremely shy I was part of a training session for Victoria's regional branches of the company I worked for. The trainer (my boss)had to leave the room and before he left he said to all (about 25 middle aged men and me, the only female) that I would tell them about myself and my role in the company while he was gone. I didn't sweat a bit.

I was swimming in embarrassment as I could not utter a single word for the whole 10 minutes he was out of the room. I mentally beat myself up for each mute second that went by but could still not bring myself to get up and make any sort of coherent comment - I'll never, ever forget the feeling of humiliation. By-word: I still progressed through the ranks but the horror of that day will never be forgotten.

tonypark said...

Trin, the next non fiction book I'm writing is about a military guy serving in Afhganistan (how's that for teasing).

I asked him if he got scared when people shot at him and he said: "Nah, it's not like public speaking or anything like that."

Personally, I'd rather do a library talk any day rather than be shot at by the Taliban.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Trin, those fakey "get to know you" things are the worst.

These sailors who've helped you, were they in uniform at the time? Just curious...

Anon

Herr Doktor said...

Yes Tony I frequently speak about things I know nothing about! Such is life, really looking forward to the book, you teaser, what's the go with the Afghan book? Should be interesting!
I endorse your sentiments about people helping out. Most people are keen to help the author, it is your wit and charm!!

Crookedpaw said...

I work with a bloke who constantly talks about that which he knows nothing: Very loudly.

It doesn't seem to embarrass him at all.

Flea said...

An Admiral?? Go SA-cans!! LOL

ali g said...

No sweat...been doing it all my life...as they say.. 'Bullsh*t baffles brains'
On the converse there is also the saying..'it's better to sit there saying nothing and have people think you're stupid than open your mouth and prove it'
My better half [well known to you] has mentioned that one to me on several occasions....
Note new picture...Tried several to see what they were like and then 'Beavus & Butthead' but now the bloody thing wont delete off the page for some unknown reason.

Trin said...

Love your picture Ali G - the first of us to go animated - I'm impressed!

Afghanistan book sounds interesting. Have read all Andy McNab's and enjoyed, so looking forward to it, even if nothing like his. Have I missed something - what was your first non-fiction?

tonypark said...

Trin, my first non fiction book is "Part of the Pride", the lion whisperer's book (written with the lion man himself, Kevin Richardson).

The one I'm working on now is my second. It's set in Afghanistan and it's about..........

Trin said...

You are truly one big sh........

dozycow said...

Tony, you are teasing us all yet again - no fair !!

I would be very interested in your "Afghanistan" book, I have read a lot of Andy McNabb, Chris Ryan & John Nicholl so I think it would be very good to finally read an Aussie's true account of our own military involvement (my son was deployed to the mid-east in '03 & his fiance has recently returned from deployment to Afghanistan).

PS: I have a horror of public speaking in any form

PPS: Ali - What have you done to Claude ??

ali g said...

The Afghan book will be good.....
Dozy..Claudes sitting next to me at the keyboard at the moment asking if he could possibly have another plate of chicken seeing as he's done all his 'puter' work. He didn't like me saying 'wont let the cat out of the bag' about Tony's Afghan book so have deleted that..
Wanted to know how it got in the bag in the first place..
He's off to the vet this morning for a checkup and he'll probably be a bit pissed off when he gets home.

As soon as I can work out how to delete 'Beavus and Butthead' he shall be back.
The animations not really impressive Trin. It's really not supposed to be there. It's what happens when I play 'silly buggers' and stuff things up!

dozycow said...

That's good to know Ali, I hope he's not too angry about the vet.
I once had a wonderful cat that was a grey version of Claude & he was such a lovely gentleman - that is until a dog came along, then he would turn into a raging fury & attack. The bigger the dog the meaner he would be....

Bec said...

So when you say "very soon" uploading the podcast, what you really mean "don't hold your breath", right?

Just checking.

My own blog won't let me leave comments on my own RSM game, so I have to come make smart arse remarks on yours instead.

Oh, and the WV for this comment is "dyingers", as in: We're all dyingers to hear Tony's podcast...

ali g said...

Aren't 'podcasts' those things that the scuttle bugs burst out of and attached to your face in the "Alien' movies??