Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Attention googlers

My friend Bec showed me how to install a 'site meter' on the blog recently. If you look carefully and scroll down you can see its little icon on the left.

It really is rather cool. As well as telling me how many thousands of fans are logging on each day (don't worry all four of you, that was a joke, Legion of Fans... we are still an exclusive club), it also tells me where you are all from.

Given that there are NOT thousands of you, it may interest you to know, Muriel, Are, Hann (who probably knows more about site meters than I could learn in a lifetime), C, Mrs B, Richard Gere, Black Mustarfa, Meggie (another experienced blogger), Ali G et al that I have the power to know when you were on, how long you were on for, and how many pages you were viewing.

I also know some of your employers...

Don't worry, I'm not taking notes, although all you Telstra people had better get back to work and cowboy up, y'hear! 'Nuff said. The new Sherrif would not be impressed.

Anyway, more interesting than all of that (apart from being able to track Are's recent trip to Norway day by day - mate, we don't get too many Norwegians visiting, OK?) is the people who have stumbled upon this humble blog by googling.

Site Meter tells me, believe it or not, what you have typed into your search fields. So, to answer a few questions:

1. "super glue repair plastic radiator" of Western Samoa (I kid you not)... some advice. Super glue is overrated. Find some corn meal (mealie meal in Africa - I'm sure you have some kind of ground up grain in Western Samoa) and slowly trickle it into the hot radiator water. The grain expands and fills gaps. Mustard powder also works, if you have that in Samoa.

2. "pouncing lioness" of the US of A - stop googling, start saving and book yourself a self-drive Safari in the Kruger National Park, South Africa.

3. "land rover stuck hand brake" - my brother (or sister) I am aware of the problem. If it's not a buggered spring and/or foreign object, you might have to take the drum off if it's seized (says he, really having no idea what he is talking about).

4. "land rover francistown" - seriously, dude, email me via my website at http://www.tonypark.net/ and I will put you on to the BEST Land Rover mechanic in Botswana - a lovely guy called Solomon who did a house call on a Saturday night in a camp ground in Francistown to keep Tonka on the road. This man is an artist.

I eagerly await seeing a report from the first person to google "tony park nude".

6 comments :

tonypark said...

One minute 20 seconds, junior? Is that all the time you spent checking my blog?

Either you're a very fast reader or you really are very busy.

Hmmmmmm....

bec said...

consider it done (the googling).

And didn't I tell you the sitemeter would be good for a completely useless post like this one?

meggie said...

Well, that is all very well & good, but I still dont know how you get that type of info off the site meter?? I have a squizz at mine now & then, & dont get to learn things like that? I am obviously looking in the wront places? Bec, help?
See, Tony, I have a lot left to learn & confess, I wing it a lot of the time!

My float said...

I think you'll be waiting a LONG time for that...

bec said...

- and when you do google 'tony park nude', the search engine pauses for a moment and then asks, very politely:
"Did you mean tony parker nude ?"

bec said...

Ha!

You said 'dude', dude.